Is Stella a Famous Persona?

I was out with friends recently and found myself recounting a phone call I’d gotten many years ago.  Here’s the text as I recorded it shortly after the call.  I used it as the first scene of my 2nd , unpublished, novel. My friend Amy suggested I rework it as a short, New Yorker-type story and I just may do that.

Stella was sitting on the front porch watching the afternoon traffic pass by when I got the call on my business line.  It was the call I always knew would come.

“Hello.  May I speak with Stella, please?” she said.

“Sure. May I say who’s calling?”

“I’m looking for Stella Woronoff.  W-O-R-O-N-O-F-F,” she said.

“I’m Bonnie Woronoff,” I said. “May I ask who’s calling please?”

“Dunn and Bradstreet has business with Stella,” she said.  I thought her reply a bit haughty. 

“You have business with Stella?  May I ask what kind of business?”

That caused a slight chink in her armor.  “I’m not sure,” she said.  “It doesn’t say here.”

“But you're sure you have business with her?” I said.

“Yes,” she replied, “it says something here about Stella Bear.”

“Stellabear.com,” I said.  “It’s a website.  You have business with Stella regarding stellabear.com?”

“Yes.”

“And you've done business with Stella of stellabear.com in the past?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that's very interesting,” I said.  “I didn't know she was working with Dunn and Bradstreet.  Hang on.  I'll get her.” 

I paused a moment, debating…. 

“There is one thing I think you should know,” I said.  “Stella’s a dog.  She’s a big beautiful Newfoundland dog.”

“Oh,” the woman said, though she was dumbstruck only momentarily.  “Is she famous?”

I was impressed by the nimbleness of her response.  Then I realized the woman was entirely serious. 

“Famous?” I said, “What do you mean?  She's pretty popular in the neighborhood, but I wouldn't say famous.”

“Is she famous like Morris-the-Cat or Lassie?”

“No, she’s not famous,” I said.  Then a thought occurred to me.  “Why?  Do you have connections?  I think she should be famous.”

“Uh, no,” the woman replied sounding neverous.  As if I were stalking her. 

“Let me just update her file,” the woman said. 

Damn, I thought. I’d frightened her.

“Is there an option in the file for ‘dog’?” I asked.  As a developer of business systems, I was curious.

The woman then cited my address in Lexington, MA.  “Is that correct?” she asked.

“That’s where I live,” I agreed.  “Stella has a small apartment out back.” I admit it. At that point, I was just messing with her.

“Huh?” the woman said.

“Her doghouse….” 

The woman quickly thanked me for my time.  I thanked her for calling.  When I finished laughing, I joined Stella on the front porch.  She wasn't interested in the story, but she rolled onto her back and let me rub her belly.

Comments

[Brian Lawley]

This is a very amusing story. The D&B people called me recently under the guise that "there was a report about my company's credit". All they wanted to do was update our information so they could sell it or use it in some other way.

I think next time the call I'll tell them that the person they are calling for is in jail for attempting to assault the person at D&B who kept calling them repeatedly. :-)

Brian Lawley
Product Management 2.0
http://www.280group.com/blog.html